This poor, poor eBay user who goes by the name of neogen555 purchased and paid for a three-dollar cleaning brush for auto windshields on June second. The listings says there will be two days' handling to ship the item. The NEXT DAY, on June 3rd, he FILES A CASE asking:
am i still getting my item that i paid for????
So, since this whole thing was going south anyway, I broke rank and posted this hopefully-comical response:
"If I understand you correctly, you paid on June 2nd, and on June 3rd you are reporting you haven't received it yet, even though the tracking information has been provided. Let me launch a full-scale investigation, I will be back with you shortly. I will put my best team on it, I guarantee it. I WILL GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS IF IT IS THE LAST THING I DO! I really do not want you to suffer and if it is something I did I promise I will make it up to you in ANY way possible. I deeply, deeply regret the inconvenience."